put it into words

I could not put anything into words.
All those questions,
and all those emotions,
they remained locked deep inside me.

Countless sensations I soaked up.
But nothing made its way outside again.
I was cold, quiet, indifferent.
Did not know myself
Did not know the world.

Everything I wanted to say,
got caught up in my throat.
Everything I wanted to feel,
got caught up in my heart.
Until eventually I realized:
I cannot carry around all those words and feelings
on my own.

And so I broke out.
I broke out of myself.

This volcanic eruption resulted in destruction over my land.
But it also planted a seed for a new beginning.

After all this hiding and breaking,
now I finally knew:
I can show myself.
Without fear.
Without shame.
Even if I am different,
I deserve to be heard.
Even if until today,
I can not always find the right words for my thoughts and feelings,
I still deserve to be heard.