when I heard
that you
were gone
I wanted
to scream
but no sound
came out
my vocal cords
were paralyzed
just as the rest
of my body
my heart beating
against my chest
felt like
a great weight
hitting a dead body
my lungs
gave in
I felt like
I could not breathe
nothing came out
except for
the silent tears
dripping down
onto my hands
the same hands
that bore into my skin
searching for an answer
while I slowly
lost conciousness


when you died
a part of me
died with you.

goodbye, our guiding star.